I start most of my coaching sessions by asking my client what’s working well in their life. I began doing this because I noticed most people would focus on what wasn’t working.
Yes, I realize people enroll in a coaching course and private session to improve their lives and the focus doesn’t always need to be on the “problem.” You can still move toward what you want by looking at what is working well for you in the midst of an issue that is not ideal.
Try on this technique for yourself. Reframing is a skill I learned at The Coaches Training Institute back in 1996. You can often look at a situation in a way that is disabling instead of from several different perspectives that give you a choice.
Choice is empowering.
Choose an issue in your life or biz that has a big negative charge. It can be a frustrating or scary one or maybe you have an important goal that hasn’t manifested yet. Do you have something in mind? Okay, good. Now ask yourself the following questions.
What do you like about the way you’ve been dealing with the situation so far?
How have you successfully dealt with similar issues in the past?
What are two or three of your greatest strengths? How can you use them to move the situation toward your desired end result?
What have you learned from this issue? How can you use that information to empower yourself?
What can you appreciate about this situation?
What are other areas of your life that you feel good about? What are doing there that is working? How can you use those same thoughts, habits and actions to improve the issue that you are trying to resolve?
So, what did you get from that exercise? Did you gain a new perspective or new ideas? How can you use these questions to keep your focus on what’s working well now?
I know (Trust me, I know!) that it can be challenging to focus on what’s working well in times of stress, sadness, fear or frustration. It’s so much easier to complain and feel overwhelmed by the “problem”. But you truly have a choice in how you perceive every circumstance in your life. And the most impactful perspective is how you view yourself. Put a spotlight on what’s great about you. You are fabulous and don’t you forget it. If you forget, you’ll know because it doesn’t feel good at all.
Change your perspective and change your life.