Pesky Behaviors in Others
Have you ever gotten upset with a colleague for not responding to an email or phone call? What about someone cutting corners or not being honest with you? I know I get really irritated when people are inconsiderate of my time. What about you? I know it’s a bit uncomfy but it will serve you to look inside your own life when you experience the same maddening experience from more than one person. For instance, let’s say someone is not giving you a clear yes or no answer on something. Since they aren’t giving you a clear answer, you can’t move forward on your planning. The more you focus on their indecision it seems the longer they take to get back to you. You may have to do some internal work before the external circumstance can change. There are a few things you can do to remedy minor, yet aggravating, situations that include other people. First, clarify your intended outcome before talking to the person or taking action. Also, you must bring your irritation factor down a notch or it will be an obstacle to reach your desired outcome. Try one or a combination of the below 1. Check in with yourself. Is your irritation legitimate or are you making a bigger deal of things than needed? Get a second opinion if you’re not sure. 2. Communicate frankly with the person about the situation. State your desired outcome, make a request for what you need and explain why you are making the request. Let them know the impact of their behavior in a matter-of-fact way. You want to steer away from making them feel guilty. 3. Neutralize your frustration. Energetically you can’t get a different response from someone unless you get your focus off the behavior that is irritating you. You’ll have to focus on the fact that you can still get your desired outcome no matter what they are doing. For instance, my mate isn’t known for his punctuality. When he is running late, I focus on getting to where we are going in perfect timing no matter what time we leave the house. It always works out one way or another. 4. Look in your own life. Are you doing the same behavior as the person/s you are frustrated with? If you are and it doesn’t feel good, then that is the very reason you are experiencing this behavior with someone else. Don’t focus on integrity as the issue…as in you have to walk your talk. This is about vibrational focus. One of my coaching clients was complaining about someone on his team who kept bypassing his supervisors and having little chats with the head honcho of their division. But guess what my client does when he wants immediate results? Bypasses his boss and goes straight to the head honcho. He always feels a little bad about doing it, therefore a perfect setup for one of his employees to do the same. The behaviors are a vibrational match. Either my client needs to change how he feels about going around his boss, or stop going around his boss. Another option is to change how he feels about his employee doing the same thing.