Giving yourself a hard time about how slow your success is unfolding or for a failed project is by far one of the worst things you can do for your business and yourself. Feeling ashamed of your financial status is also like putting fertilizer on cancer.
The feeling of guilt rates second to lowest on the Map of Consciousness by Dr. David Hawkins in his book Power vs. Force. The winner of the lowest-calibrated emotion that causes people to go weak is shame.
Mmm… tasty tidbits, aren’t they?
Love rates very high, but enlightenment, peace, and joy are even higher-vibrating emotions. Love is good, and peace is better.
I used to think that feeling guilty was normal and responsible. When I sat in church as a child, I thought that I had a long way to go to be as “sinless” as the Virgin Mary.
I didn’t keep my room clean; I answered my mom sarcastically; I wasn’t kind enough to people. I just wasn’t doing everything as best as I could.
Guilty as charged. I dubbed myself a “guilt monger.” For many years I’ve practiced self-love more and guilt less. Although guilt still lurks in the shadows ready to pounce at a moment’s notice.
Through coaching, I found out I wasn’t the only one “guilting” all over myself. A majority of my clients were also experiencing guilt.
They said things like…
I should be doing more.
I should be making more.
I should be farther along.
I shouldn’t take so many programs.
I don’t contribute enough to the household finances.
I should spend more time with my family.
And on and on it goes.
It’s yucky, slimy, heavy, and pulls you down like quicksand. Guilt is useless and does not teach us a lesson. It just makes us feel like crap! Not a good place to be if you want to experience peace and the magic of life. And attract clients.
Is there a solution? Yes, but it’s not an overnight thing. The practice is stepping into a perspective that you are good enough, worthy, and just fine the way you are! Is there room for improvement? Of course. And, for right now, you’re fine.
When I tell clients that they have full permission to relax about not going to an upcoming party that they loathe, they breathe sighs of relief. Too many people are doing things on a daily basis out of guilt.
Here’s a list of issues my clients or I have guilted ourselves about:
Somebody giving us money
Not making enough money
Not giving enough time to visit so-and-so
Not working hard enough
Not being kind enough
Not wanting to say no to so-and-so
Not doing enough
Having a dirty house/office
Charging too much on credit cards
Not saving enough money
Missing your child’s event(s)
Forgetting a birthday or anniversary
Lying or cheating
Not being a good enough parent, mate, son, or daughter
Being selfish
Enough! I could go on and on, but I feel yucky just writing those. While you may have done some of the above, it’s not a good reason to step into guilt.
Anything that happened a second ago is the past. It’s over. If you are able to do something to correct the situation in a positive manner, do it. If not, you’ve got to get over it. Really. It’s not doing you any good. If you feel guilty about hurting somebody else, your guilt is not correcting the situation.
I can’t think of any good reason to feel guilty. It puts you straight into the victim role. You might as well put a sticker on your forehead that says “Loser!” Do you think you can generate any positive manifestation from that place? Uh… NO!
Get the guilt off you. Start loving yourself up more. Be kind to you. Be selfish because nobody else can take care of you. You’ve got to honor your values, time, and boundaries. You have to do what is in your best interest. When you live from this place you will make an impact so positive in yours and others’ lives that you’ll be amazed you ever lived any other way.
Guilt OFF and Power ON!