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It’s normal to have an emotional reaction when you get bad news. When I heard that my brother had an accident while riding his bicycle, I immediately lost my mind. I went to the worst-case scenario. In this instance, it was true.

One of my most favorite human beings, J.J., had died.

What? My healthy 42-year-old brother, who the previous week I had just watched in his softball playoffs, had fallen over dead while riding his bike during his normal 18-mile route.

What the?! How — and why — could that be?

I decided right then and there that this was going to be the worst day of my life. Yep. Now my life was going to suck. My parents would have sad hearts, and we were all screwed. I would cry rivers of tears forever. I couldn’t imagine waterskiing, cooking, eating, drinking, laughing, or joking without him.

Well, luckily there were some whispers of hope popping into my brain waiting to be noticed.

And then someone helped me articulate my intention. (Thank you, Robin!)

What if this was the best thing that ever happened in my life?

Holy moly. Did I dare think that?

What if I could use this experience to live more fully, peacefully, joyously, lightly, and in the moment?

What if I could connect with my brother daily and have his bright perspective at my beck and call anytime I wanted?

What if I could accept this reality and stop resisting it?

What if I could look back at this time and say it was a positive turning point for me?

Man, that possibility began to turn this tragedy into an opportunity. I’m not saying I’ve dropped the sad thoughts. They come fast and furious. But… with some attention to shifting my energy to the possibility here, I’m making some progress.

I’ve always believed that you can change your life when you shift your perspective. It’s a very active process. When it comes to this type of shift, you don’t simply decide that it will happen and then everything falls together.

The shift is reliant upon you refocusing your thoughts many times a day. Sometimes, hundreds. I went through this process with money some years back. I was transitioning from debt and lack into having more than enough money to live.

This work is not for the faint of heart (pun not intended). It takes a lot of energy, but the payoff is worth it.

I’m looking forward to having the best time of my life. How about you?

What are you looking forward to? Declare it below.

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Jeanna Gabellini
Love you back!
Wendy Hanson
Jeanna- Thank you for sharing the perspective on loss. J.J. and you had such a wonderful relationship-he was, and still is, an inspiring man. I will take this lesson in as always to change my perspective when I want to change my life. You are a gift. I love you.
Jeanna Gabellini
Ellie! Thank you so much for sharing this. I really appreciate it. xooxox Inspiring.
Ellie Walsh
Phew... I feel you! I had a similar experience 10 years ago... My healthy partner of 18 yrs laid down one day ... and never physically got back up! I had never felt grief like that before ... I cried from the tips of my toenails. My entire body would cry ... I knew she was OK ... but what about me? Who was I now? And then I knew I could not allow myself to be a victim in this ... If I did I was going to go way down! Coincidentally ;) - I had just been introduced to Abraham Hicks the month before! I sat in the hot-seat with Abraham and talked about this ... and they called it an "opportunity" - Wow no one else would have been able to say that to me ... and at the same time the hair raised on my arms and back of my neck. My whole being knew this was true! Gale was AOK ... and this was huge opportunity for me! I understand the ups and downs ... downs like I never lived before! And yes it takes a lot of energy to refocus! Some days I was much better at it than other days! But truth is - it was indeed an opportunity! I learned so much about myself - I got kinder to me and I gained a new perspective! And Yes - I have been able to communicate with Gale since day one. It is now 10 yrs later ... and I still talk to her! Sending you Biggest Hugs!
That's good to hear Jeanna! It's great when they come visit in their dreams. I don't think we will ever stop falling to pieces. We can accept it, but it still hurts. Big hugs to you. And thanks for all you do! :)
Rhian Cotter
Wow! Jeanna! This is, in equal measure, brilliant, magnificently outrageous and inspirational! I totally get where you are coming from and hope you are able to find the place that this resonates for you as often as possible every day. When my husband was diagnosed with stage IV cancer I said that we could make this the best thing that had happened to us, but nobody else got it. The medics told me that I was in denial and hadn't really understood what it all meant. I understood alright - I just wanted to have a different perspective. I hope your Mum & Dad have ways of soothing themselves too ... you all have a journey ahead of you. Love to you all ... Rhian
Jeanna Gabellini
love you, thank you!
This is beautiful Jeanna and a perfect example of how you and J.J. have always been inspirations to me and so many others. As individuals and together you both stand out in every way, physically, intellectually, spiritually, emotionally. All my love and continued prayers for you, J.J., and the rest of our family. Love, Kristin
Jeanna Gabellini
Thanks, Mach!
Jeanna, Sorry for your loss. I know you loved your brother deeply. I am joyful for your perspective in honoring J.J. and knowing his light is always with you. BIG HUGS TO YOU! xoxox Mach
Jeanna Gabellini
Nancy, I think it's a ROTTEN thing to happen, but it will definitely be a catalyst to a BETTER me, and for that it will be amazing!!!
Jeanna Gabellini
Nina, right on for taking a stand for something MORE! And blessings to your family. Love to all your nieces and nephews. Hope they connect to their mom and feel her presence like I feel my brother. We've been chatting non stop..except for when I fall to pieces. ;-)
I wouldn't say it's the best thing to happen but it is an opportunity to focus on what really matters and how we can grow from that experience. I too have lost a sibling and it will forever change your life and how you see things. He was a gift to everyone he came into contact with and what is important is the love you share with one another. I'm on another journey now as my husband has cancer and I again have an opportunity to focus and see what's really important in life. I'm sorry for your loss and hope in time you heal with the knowledge that you were given a rare gift that was your brother.
Thank you for sharing Jeanna. I can totally relate to your pain. My story is a little different. My sister was only 33 years old when she passed 2 months ago, however, she was a diabetic and went into a coma. She could have taken better care of herself but she chose not to. We were so close in age ( I just turned 32 on 8/20/2013). As I looked at her in the casket, I couldn't help but think about my own mortality and how I wanted to live this life. I took a drastic change and fired all of my clients. They were no longer serving me and my mission to make a huge impact in the world. My sister never got to experience many things this life had to offer. And, I didn't want that to be me. I want to create a legacy and I know I can't do that by playing small. My heart goes out to you because while I know we want to change the world, there are some days where I cry like a little baby and some days out of the blue, I want to call her and remember that I can't. But I can look at her pics, and remember so many things and her spirit lives on through her 5 beautiful children she blessed us with on this planet. Sending you love and light!!! :)