At some time in your life, you’ve probably heard someone say, “You can’t make everyone happy.” While this is probably very true, it’s irrelevant. The only person you need to be concerned about is really you.
I know that you most likely know this intellectually, yet it’s not always easy to live by. Especially when it comes to connecting with potential clients. Oh, but wait, once you get a client you might think you have to bend over backward to ensure they think your products and services are great so they don’t stop paying you.
You can never relax.
It’s almost a natural tendency to make sure your loved ones or workmates are feeling good about you. But it can turn into a big mess when you put their feelings before what is fulfilling to you.
You’re always at risk of ticking someone off, even when you don’t have a clue that what you are saying or doing would upset someone.
You’re just living your life, right? Why do they think you’re being so selfish and insensitive?! They just want you to be and do what they want.
Here’s the real deal: it takes courage to not twist your life and desires into a tangle to please the folks who are important to you. It takes strength to not allow their hurt to impact you. It is a balancing act to decide what you want to give from a place of true choice and what you’re going to take a stand for when someone is pushing back on you.
Having personal policies in your business and life is a requirement if you want to stay in integrity with others and yourself.
For instance, I make it a personal policy to never discount one of my offers when someone says they can’t afford it. Why? Because it doesn’t feel good to me. And I watch others who can’t afford it, find the money to make it happen. Why would I discount for some and not others? I don’t like playing favorites.
I have a personal policy to schedule my client calls so I can walk, workout, water ski, or snow ski when I want to.
Once I take care of myself, I can more fully be there for my clients 100%… and the fam. I have no regrets or resentment… so I’m happy!
Here are my personal recommendations on how to best be selfish:
- Be at peace with putting yourself first
- Never give into something you’ll regret or that will cause you to resent someone
- Support the people around you in being true to themselves
- Never give up your values or desires
- Accept who you are, even the quirks and bad habits
- If someone is pushing back on you, don’t make yourself wrong for honoring what’s important to you
- If you are following your heart, you never have to defend or justify; simply explain
Once you’re truly comfortable with being yourself, you will get less resistance from others. Being true to yourself is the only path to abundance and improved health.