When I was pregnant with our first son, my mate couldn’t decide if he should climb Mt. Whitney. Because I was very pregnant, we wanted to spend as much time together as possible before the baby arrived.
He decided to go on the hike. He knew that when our baby came, he would want to stick around home more. Good choice to go on the hike! Why? He really wanted to hike Mt. Whitney.
If my mate had chosen to stick around home just to spend time with me while we were still childless, he’d have been making his choice from the perspective of lack: “not enough alone time.”
I told him we’d have many opportunities to spend time alone, even with a newborn in our lives.
Yes, I know many people believe that they will have no personal time once they have children. That is their belief, and then they make that their reality. But if you believe you will have an abundance of something, you will.
The conversation of lack versus abundance is always a powerful one when making a decision. When I find myself or a client making a decision based on a made-up truth about a lack of time, money, or anything else, I put the brakes on.
You’ve gotta question your motives for making a choice if you feel bad about whatever you choose.
Consistently ask yourself the following:
- Am I planning for success or failure?
- Am I planning on having things go my way, or do I fear I’ll encounter obstacles?
- Am I choosing what I really want or am I settling for less?
- Am I focused on what’s working or on what I don’t have?
- If I say no to this thing I want now, does it really mean no not ever or just no, not right now?
I used these same inquiries myself around the same time as the Mt. Whitney dilemma occurred.
I’d organized several people to come out on my boat with me. I figured I’d get one last water ski day in before I birthed my bundle of joy. My due date was in less than a month, and I still felt good getting out on the water.
I had to teach my friend how to pull a skier. His first three tries at pulling me up failed. I usually get up the first time. We all chocked it up to driver error that my big belly was still in the water and not skiing on top of it. On his fourth try, I realized that the error might be my own. His speed was perfect and I still couldn’t get up.
My mate came out to the boat later on that day, got in the driver’s seat, and attempted to pull me up on my ski. Nope.
The time had come to put the water ski away until the baby arrived. My growing belly was too big in those last weeks to easily water ski.
I listened to my body and got back in the boat. I was sad that I couldn’t do my favorite sport for a while. Ah! But wait. I had gotten to ski more that year than the last even while being pregnant.
My body allowed me to enjoy all my favorite sports (snow skiing, hiking, yoga, and water skiing) throughout my pregnancy. That’s pretty awesome! I knew I could be back out water skiing within a month after having the baby, which meant the water ski season wasn’t over for me yet… only for a couple of months.
I let myself appreciate what had been great up to that point and what was still forthcoming. I remembered that I was the one who got to make up the rules about how my life would be. I had planned this pregnancy and I was joyful about it. I decided my baby would create more space, learning, peace, and abundance in my life.
So, what’s your story? Are you projecting into the future what you want or what you fear? You make up the rules, so let them serve you joyfully!