There’s a light and dark side to every positive personality trait and value. Unfortunately, it’s easy to slip into the dark side and cause yourself and others immense stress.
For instance, I have high standards of integrity, especially when it comes to business. In the past, if I witnessed someone being dishonest, doing shady marketing tactics, or not delivering on what they promised, my blood pressure would rise, and I’d stew over it for days. I’d often tell them what I thought of their sketchy behavior to keep them in check.
I thought it was the “right” thing to do.
Was I being a good leader? Maybe. Was my behavior healthy? Definitely not. I created my own emotional suffering by shifting my honorable value of integrity into overdrive. The dark side.
Owning a business will always reveal all of your weaknesses and trigger intense emotions. It’s a breeding ground for dark, low-vibe emotions. The worst of the emotions I see most in my clients are guilt and shame.
It shows up in thoughts like…
- I can’t believe I forgot that appointment!
- My profit was XXXX this month but it should’ve been XXXXX.
- Ack, I just blew that deal.
- I’ve been in business X years and I’m still not making enough money.
- I can’t afford to pay that bill.
- I can’t afford to hire someone.
- Why am I procrastinating?!
- That person didn’t buy; I must’ve done something wrong.
- I’m late… again.
- I’m always overwhelmed.
- I should be doing more to be successful.
Being professional, responsible, and keeping your word are all wonderful things to strive for in business, but they can also kill your profits and joy when used against you.
Self-awareness is great for personal growth and learning. Being self-critical will make you miserable and sick.
At one time or another, we all mess up. We back down when we feel fear. We don’t take a stand. We take too much of a stand. We strive too much in our pursuit for success and money.
So what?! We’re human. Humans run businesses. It’s okay to mess up, play small, and say the wrong thing.
Get over it.
There are no business police watching over your every move who will punish you if you F up. Get used to failing and things slipping through the cracks. It’s going to happen. But it doesn’t need to be a big, hairy deal.
The only things that are bad are the things we label as bad and then get ourselves worked up over.
If you don’t assign significance to the failures, they’ll just become part of the experiment called business and life. Use them to learn from and not beat yourself up over.
So what, now what?! is a favorite phrase I use from my friend Lance Giroux after something I do bombs.
Once you let it go, you can step more fully into your power and course correct.
It’s impossible to have fun when you’re beating yourself up, right?
My vote is to run a guilt-free business so that you can experience more joy, connect to your Inner Business Expert, and experience massive prosperity.
BAM! How good can you stand it?!