One of my favorite books on attitude is The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hanson. They say, “If you don’t ask, the answer is always no.” And they are right.
You have to ask for what you want from yourself, others, the Universe/God and your own Inner Guidance.
I’m a huge promoter of asking for what you want from your power when you need something from someone in business. If you feel wimpy, whiny, apologetic, justified, irritated or resentful, you might as well have a billboard above your head saying, “DISCONNECTED from my POWER”.
I highly recommend waiting to make important requests until you feel confident you are worthy of the other person saying, “YES!”. When you understand that you deserve to have whatever you want, you won’t have to worry so much about what you say. It all boils down to how you feel while you’re saying it.
Whether you’re asking for the sale or for a team member to step up their game, be clear about your desired outcome before you open your mouth. It’s also critical that you can concisely make your request. You don’t need a long-winded conversation about why you’re asking. Just ask.
Pause. Let them answer or ask a clarifying question if needed.
Then you can state your case powerfully. But this is not a courtroom. It’s a relationship. Even if you’re in a restaurant asking the waiter for fresh herbs on your salad, they are a human being who deserves your respect.
I recently went out to lunch with my gal pal and teleclass co-leader, Bridget Engel. She is clear about what food she wants and usually has several special requests for the wait staff. The way she asks is as sweet as honey. At the same time, the request is made as confidently as if she were the Queen of England. There is no doubt in her mind about them giving her no for an answer.
It’s powerful to watch. And she usually receives exactly what she asks for and sometimes a lot more!
Notice how you feel the next time you’re about to ask for something very important to you. Are you asking with…
The expectation of getting what you want?
Fear that you won’t get your needs met?
Doubt because your request feels like too much or too little?
Resentment because your needs should’ve already been met?
How you feel directly impacts the answer and follow through you receive.
There is one time when you don’t need to be fully in your power to ask. And that time is when you need emotional support.
Be mad, stressed, sad, sniffly and not your confident self. However, value yourself enough to ask for a helping hand. It doesn’t matter if you’re viewed as the gal or guy who has it all together. If some part of your business or life is falling apart, the faster you ask for some upliftment or coaching, the faster you’ll be back in your power.
It is not wimpy to feel like a mush pile and state your feelings. Let go of your ego so you can get what you need.
I remember a time in my life that I feared my coach might fire me, because I kept asking her to remind me of my power. I did it several times a day until I got it in the cells of my body. She didn’t fire me and I found my confidence.
When you’re committed to the outcome you’ll ask as many times as needed for what you want. I ask my Inner Guidance for support repeatedly throughout the day.
“Please support me in being present in the moment, Bring my ideal clients to me. Help me find peace. Bonk me over the head if you notice me playing small and scared. Let me sleep well tonight. Make me feel refreshed and energetic in the morning. Give me creativity. Let the perfect words flow through my finger tip and onto my computer screen.”
My asking is endless. And I never apologize.