You have to ask for what you want from yourself, others, the Universe/God, and your own Inner Guidance.
I’m a huge promoter of asking for what you want from your power when you need something from someone in business. If you feel wimpy, whiny, apologetic, justified, irritated, or resentful, you might as well have a billboard above your head saying,
“I’m DISCONNECTED from my POWER.”
I highly recommend waiting to make important requests until you feel confident you are worthy of the other person saying, “YES!” When you understand that you deserve to have whatever you want, you won’t have to worry so much about what you say.
It all boils down to how you feel while you’re saying it.
Whether you’re asking for the sale or for a team member to step up their game… be clear about your desired outcome before you open your mouth.
It’s also critical that you can concisely make your request. You don’t need a long-winded conversation about why you’re asking. Just ask.
Pause. Let them answer or ask a clarifying question if needed.
Then you can state your case powerfully. But this is not a courtroom. It’s a relationship.
Even if you’re in a restaurant asking the waiter for fresh herbs on your salad, they deserve your respect.
Notice how you feel the next time you’re about to ask for something very important to you. Are you asking with:
- The expectation of getting what you want?
- Eager anticipation?
- Fear that you won’t get your needs met?
- Doubt because your request feels like too much or too little?
- Resentment because your needs should’ve already been met?
How you feel directly impacts the answer and follow-through you receive.
There is one time when you don’t need to be fully in your power to ask. And that time is when you need emotional support.
Be mad, stressed, sad, sniffly, and not your confident self. However, value yourself enough to ask for a helping hand. It doesn’t matter if you’re viewed as the gal or guy who has it all together. If some part of your business or life is falling apart, the faster you ask for some upliftment or coaching, the faster you’ll be back in your power.
It is not wimpy to feel like a mush pile and state your feelings. Let go of your ego so you can get what you need.
I remember a time in my life that I feared my coach would fire me, because I kept asking her to remind me of my power. I did it several times a day until I got it in the cells of my body. She didn’t fire me, and I found my confidence.
When you’re committed to the outcome, you’ll ask as many times as needed for what you want. I ask my Inner Guidance for support repeatedly throughout the day.
“Please support me in being present in the moment. Bring my ideal clients to me. Help me find peace. Bonk me over the head if you notice me playing small and scared. Let me sleep well tonight. Make me feel refreshed and energetic in the morning. Give me creativity. Let the perfect words flow through my fingertips and onto my computer screen.”
My asking is endless. And I never apologize.
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