You probably know many people who consistently do the “Yeah, but…” thing. They complain about something sucking, and when solutions are offered, they tell you why each one can’t work.
It’s maddening to listen to them because you see what’s possible if they’d just do something different!
Of course, it’s easy to see when someone else is committed to being stuck in the “Yeah, but…” But what about when it’s YOU?! (Ugh.)
It’s very easy to miss the signs that you, too, are more committed to your suffering than moving forward toward what you say you want. In fact, sometimes we’re so used to putting up with discomfort and emotional pain that it becomes normal.
We tell ourselves, “That’s just the way it is.”
You accept that you don’t have enough moola. You think, move, make decisions, and talk like a person who is broke.
It’s easy to fall into this trap with relationships, health, and more. The doctor tells you that you officially have a “condition” and you think, “Ugh. I’m stuck with this.”
(I’ll give you a plan to move out of Stuckville in a minute.)
Your business hits a plateau, or you can’t attract clients in the first year, so you decide these are the cards you were dealt. “I better look for a job because I’m not cut out for a thriving business.”
You may push out vacations, leaving a mate, leaving a job, exercising, learning a skill, moving, or a host of other things because you’re committed to the reasons it’s not possible to have what you want.
You’re not alone. I catch myself doing it too! I’ll think about a home improvement project and come up with reasons why it can’t be done this year.
Guess what? As long as you and I keep telling ourselves why it’s not possible, ain’t NOTHING gonna be different!
I remember watching this phenomenon happen to me with some business debt I had acquired with my partner, Eva Gregory. We funded our live radio show out of San Francisco (before internet radio was a thing), and we ended up with more debt than we could handle within a few months.
So, we got used to the debt sitting there, barely going down.
Shortly after that, I’d paid off ALL debt in my personal life within nine months.
What was different about my personal debt?
I’d finally decided that it was time for it to go bye-bye.
So I tried it with the business debt. Three months later it was gone. It only took three months after sitting there for YEARS!
We had paid a ton of money in interest rates during those years simply because we were bogged down in thinking we were stuck with the debt and hadn’t decided it could be different.
How You Can Finally Drop the Excuses
Most people see their pattern… but don’t interrupt it.
So, let’s make this simple and practical.
- Catch the “Yeah, but…” in real time.
The moment you hear yourself say:
- “Yeah, but I don’t have time”
- “Yeah, but I don’t have the resources”
- “Yeah, but it won’t work for me”
Stop. Right there. That’s just habit or fear talking.
- Replace the excuse with one honest question.
- What would I do if I had to move forward anyway?
- What’s one tiny step I could take without everything being perfect?
- What would someone who believes this is solvable do next?
You’re not looking for the full plan, just one next move.
3. Stop debating reality. Decide instead.
Excuses thrive in endless analysis. Making a strong decision can collapse them darn near instantly.
You don’t need have 100% certainty about all the steps to get to your end outcome in this moment, as long as you decide: This is changing.
4. Stop debating reality. Decide instead.
Most people wait until they feel confident, clear, or comfortable.
That’s backwards. Getting into action creates relief, then confidence. Clarity comes when it comes (you can’t force it).
If something isn’t working, stop white-knuckling it alone. Get yourself some support. It’s literally just one ask away.
5. Take one move that scares/stretches you a little.
I don’t mean panic-level fear, but just enough to break the pattern.
Start by sending that email, have the conversation, book the help, or make the commitment with some form of accountability.
That’s how you tell yourself you’re serious.
If you stop with the “very real” excuses and get your focus off of “what is,” you’ll immediately feel something shift inside you.
A feeling of possibility will replace the worry. And that’s the first step to having a different outcome. (Woo hoo!)
And more shifts will come fast when you’re focused on your future in anticipation of something good happening.
I’ve witnessed this time after time with clients who have no movement in their business and finances, and within a month everything changes drastically for the better.
They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and took charge.
They bit the bullet and invested in themselves. They stopped accepting the discomfort in their life and made a different choice.
Get up, move forward, and invest in a solution.
If it doesn’t work, try something else. (We don’t always hit a home run the first try, but don’t give up!)
Use your inner guidance and the support of others to find a new reality in which you win.