At some time in your life you’ve probably heard someone say, “You can’t make everyone happy.” While this is probably very true, it’s irrelevant. The only person you need to be concerned about is really you.
Yes, I know that you most likely know this intellectually, yet it’s not always easy to live by. It’s almost a natural tendency to make sure your loved ones or workmates are feeling good about you. But it can turn into a big mess when you put their feelings before what is fulfilling to you.
You’re always at risk of ticking someone off, even when you don’t have a clue that what you are saying or doing would upset someone. Hey, you’re just living your life right? Why do they think you’re being so selfish and insensitive?! They just want you to be and do what they want.
Here’s the real deal: it takes courage to not twist your life and desires into a tangle to please the folks that are important to you. It takes strength to not allow their hurt to impact you. It is a balancing act to decide what is about giving and what you are going to take a stand for when someone is pushing back on you.
Here are my personal recommendations on how to best be selfish:
- Be at peace with putting yourself first
- Never give into something you will regret or that will cause you to resent someone
- Support the people around you in being true to themselves
- Never give up your values or desires
- Accept who you are, even the quirks and bad habits
- If someone is pushing back on you, don’t make yourself wrong for honoring what is important to you
- If you are following your heart, you never have to defend or justify; simply explain
Once you are truly comfortable with being yourself, you will get less resistance from others. Being true to yourself is the only path to abundance and perfect health.
© 2009 Master Peace Coaching
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