Most of the time, I can be in the flow of the journey while what I want is manifesting quietly behind the scenes. But sometimes, I get just a wee bit uptight when my desire is not showing up. Such was the case when I was “trying” to get pregnant the second time.
In 2007, I was hit square in the eyes about the reality of my 40th birthday approaching. I felt I had not manifested several things that I “should” have by that time in my life. I should’ve had millions of dollars in the bank. I should’ve been living in my dream house. And I thought I would’ve had children over a decade before.
Yes, I know I made up all those “shoulds,” but now I was motivated to see them realized. My mate and I had talked about having children before and decided to wait until we were married. The marriage was in the works with the location picked out, dress purchased, and wedding favors ordered. But then, my 40th birthday pressure hit.
I asked again if we get could pregnant now, even though we weren’t married, and my mate said, “Yes!” I was thrilled. Three months later we announced that we had struck gold. It happened so easy and I had a great pregnancy.
Once my son was born, we decided that we immediately wanted another child. I chose June as the perfect month to get pregnant so I could have a full season of waterskiing that summer. June came around and I wasn’t pregnant. November came and went with no pregnancy.
My gremlins (negative-thought monsters) came into my head full force: “I’m getting older, so I need to hurry up. What if I can’t get pregnant? Would I adopt? What if it doesn’t happen for five years? What the heck is wrong with my manifesting muscle?!”
I know it’s obvious to you as you read this that I was clearly attached to the timing. It was not so apparent to me in the moment. I just wanted the pregnancy to happen NOW!
In a casual conversation with my bestie, Eva Gregory, I asked why I wasn’t getting pregnant, when it had happened so fast the last time.
The answer was that I really needed to trust that it would happen in Divine timing. I said, “Okay, so that means whenever it happens will be the perfect timing?” Eva replied, “Yes, that is the ONLY way to see this.”
In that moment, I truly let go of my attachment to the timing. I began to appreciate that I wasn’t pregnant through the purchase of our new home. I was excited that I had booked an upcoming river-rafting trip with my whole family in a few months.
I saw that if I had had a baby the summer before, I wouldn’t have been able to participate in my live mastermind meetings every quarter. I saw that overall, it was great that I hadn’t been pregnant up to this point, even though I still wanted another child.
Two weeks after I handed over the timing of the pregnancy to the Divine, I got pregnant. Now, isn’t that perfect?!
Where do you need to let go of attachment and trust Divine timing?
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